The piece is centred on certain
views to gender change but more importantly, motherhood. In beginning, your
permission is sought for just a little detour before the main gist...
So, what does one say about them –
women that is. They are indeed the essence of everything that the world is. It
has been said that there is nothing new under the sun; everything has been done
in one way or the other. In essence, there is no inventing the wheel no more;
it is just modifications. This is true of women. To talk about the values of
women would be to just babble and repeat clichés that have been used from time
immemorial. Do we talk about their physical qualities? Lovely hazel eyes; face
that shines like the moon; lovely physique; figure eight... Is it their
persons? There are descriptions to almost all the ladies we can come across,
descriptions that we might want to personalise but have been used over and
again. These descriptions come in personages of others who have lived long and
granted names to the whole group; there is the great sweet mother of eternity
that each one of us professes; Jezebel; Delilah; Mary; ... what description?
They are delicate and complicated,
true talk. They are different; soft and gentle but in most cases getting all
the sympathy. Reminds one of the case of the house where every night the wife
would be shouting ‘You would kill me today, you would kill me today!! Ahh!
Ahh!! Ahh!!’ In the end, the neighbours tired of the rant and hoping to rescue
the lady on this night before her wicked husband killed her, broke the front
door of the house which was locked. Behold, the woman was on top of the husband
plummeting him with series of blows that would have gained her the heavy weight
if she had decided to join the boxing profession. The amazed neighbours in the
normal style of doing things, turned and left without helping the poor man who
could hardly shout from the pain... So, forgetting the humour, we get to look
at the fact that in man cases, when a man is involved in a case and it is the
woman on top, he is left to suffer his fate...
Well, that is the case of gender
equality. Gender equality has come to mean women getting equal rights in all
situations as men and in some other cases, having more rights than them. J It was employed in several sectors
ranging from governance where there has been an increased call for more
representation of these on boards of administration and governments. In
Nigeria, President Jonathan promised that in his new government, there would be
far more representation, has he lived up to his promise? You should know the
answer. Then, there is the other aspect of women trying increasingly to become
more like their male counterparts or even better...
What is wrong with all these? I
don’t know. Perhaps, there is no wrong to it, perhaps there is. It must be
noted that it is amazing to find great women of character and will. They sure
can transform any place. Honestly, any lady who stands up and means it, somehow
gets to be outstanding...meaning most ladies hardly fall into average – just
greats or failures. The admiration of many for these sort of women is beyond
compare.
More and more, the number of
professional women rises to the detriment of even mere mothers. The world seems
to be losing so many mothers and getting by this extension, many way-ward
children. The main compensation these women would give would be to simply give
treats of hang-outs and the like to their children or something of the sort.
Now, in saying this, one is not unmindful of the exceptional few who find a
balance – they are to be praised! But there is the increasing number of women
losing themselves and being to become more like men and less than themselves...
One problem rises though, what happens
when our women totally lose themselves? Gender roles would naturally attribute
mothering and such to women. What happens when they neglect this role and leave
it all to some paid or gotten assistant or in some situations, fathers? Hmm, it
could be terrible many times. So, what are we driving at? It is good that women
are striving to be greater; it is good that they are being given all the
attention they are given... but it would be better if they remembered one of
their primary roles which is the home or to be more particular, their children.
Experience has shown that children who have more care from their mothers turn
out to be greater than those who didn’t. By this care now, the watchword is not
to spoil but rather to pay closer attention to one’s children. It is the
greatest thing that a lady can do.
Forgetting all the attention given
to women, or the strives at gender equality and all, the true essence of a
woman is mainly how and what her children would come to be. This is what
distinguishes the mother from the father. True, the father is needed to make
things right and to give the firm position but the essence of the mother cannot
and should not be mistaken or underestimated.
It brings to mind the words of a
great lady, Hembadoon Angela Itakpe, ‘A strong
successful woman is not one that has
built a career only but one that built her home alongside it. Not an easy
balance, but we can try. Many times, you will seem to b running one side of
this equation only. I guess the main thing there is realising it & trying 2
pull the neglected part back into orbit.’
It is only right to salute all the
strong women of the world for their strength and for everything they stand for.
It is possible that this piece might have been a bit back and forth but it’s
main essence is a call to mind of the changing values of time and the evolving
lady... There is the plea at the end here now that mothers find time to be
mothers for therein would the world get better... In closing, this piece and
indeed, this edition of this mag is dedicated to those professional mothers;
whether selling akara or working as a
Manager somewhere; shuffling between different jobs; or even struggling with
school, exams or doing any other business and finding time to get back to the
children. They are indeed miracles that nothing can explain. They are indeed
the greatest. No gender equality or comparison can ever be used to measure
their worth or put them in a state that would be as just and right as most
feminists or others would want. These are the angels that we can’t do without.
Thanks for every effort, every tear, every worry and every sacrifice... May the
world and even whatever world after they believe in or not, bless their every
effort and give them the reward that they truly deserve.
And to us all else, God bless. Amen.
